CEBU: HELLO HANS MOVIE HOUSE – I.T. Park, Lahug, Cebu City

August 2, 2011

Jake and I are self-proclaimed movie geeks but if you ask us about the latest releases you will draw blank stares.

Random Friend: Have you seen-

Jake & Belle: No.

Hello Hans Movie House is a dream come true.

The last movie I’ve seen in an actual movie theater was Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon (eck. Bring back Megan Fox, please.) which, by the way, was probably seen by thousands of hundreds other people before I decided to go check it out. At least Jake’s was Planet of the Apes: Rise of the Planet of the Apes.

If we had to write a concrete list of what we’d love to see on big-screen we’d probably finish filling that up in the next century.

So this is how dear Jake surprised me with our own private movie screening. (That sounds… dirty. Hahaha)

-I only get “fishlips” with Johnny baby around.-

Jake: We should totally catch up on our movie database. All we’ve been watching are the old stuff from our laptops. Wanna watch a movie with me?

Belle: Yes bleeding way! *schwing!*

So Jake drove us to I.T. Park in Lahug, Cebu City where my bewildered self was bewildering some more.

Belle: Where… are we going? Are we watching in Gaisano Country Mall?

*Note: The nearest movie theater from that location.

Jake: I’m not kidnapping you. It’s too obvious.

Belle: What then?

Jake: Before we watch a movie— you get a job. Would you like to apply for Convergys, People Support, or J.P. Morgan?

Belle: You took your funny pills today! Perfect!

We stopped by a convenience store to arm ourselves with some chips n’ dip, cola, kiamoy and a chai latte. It gets stranger. Jake then dragged me to Skyrise II into an entrance right beside Patio Ecila.

Belle: Didn’t know you liked clubbing in the middle of the afternoon.

*Note: This is the same building where Loft/Penthouse resides.

Jake: Tugsh309173298x.

Little did I know that the lost city of Atlantis was waiting for me at the 2^nd floor. Or the newly opened private movie theater called Hello Hans Movie House.

-Im’a pee my pants.-

As soon as you step inside, you will be greeted by shelves full of original English & Korean-title films for your viewing pleasure. The amiable staff helps you get acquainted almost immediately especially if it takes you about an hour to decide what you’d wanna spend your cash on. They’ve got a full collection ripe for the picking— from new releases, to cult favorites down to the classics.

Whodathunk we’d gravitate straight to the Horror section?

-This is Hello Hans’ hallway to the screening rooms. It’s not as scary as it looks! *snicker*-

Belle: It’s my birthday and I’ll scream if I want to! Partey!

Jake: Tugsh309173298x.

Hello Hans Movie House offers exclusive fully air-conditioned rooms much like that of a videoke hangout except each is equipped with surround sound, 80-in. screen with projector, uber comfortable couches, slippers, smoke friendly exhaust (for all ye pufferfishes out there), and tissue.

What is the tissue for? For movies like Titanic. Du-uh. Waddup.

It’s like watching a movie in your own private mini-movie theater. All you’ll be needing next are a pair of pajamas.

Other perks, you ask?

1. They charge nothing for extracurricular food, beverages and ciggies brought in so indulge your inner hedonist. Hello, food coma.
2. You get a free membership card instantly on your first visit where you can nerdify yourself even more with a 50% discount on your 5^th visit and… a free movie on your 10^th! You also get free popcorn on your 3^rd & 8^th visit. Now that’s ‘regular customer’ pampering.
3. They charge the same price for all movies regardless of length. So. What’s the longest movie you can think of?
4. You can bring in as many people as you want in the private screening room with you. It’s your problem how you’ll fit.
5. There’s no waiting-in-line. Choose a movie, proceed with payment, and watch it straight away.
6. They have new batches of DVD shipments almost all the time so you will never have to worry about seeing the same movie twice. Unless you want to.
7. You can bring in a copy of your personal DVD which you wish to view in their establishment. Original DVDs are highly encouraged.
8. The place is new. So the “secret’s” all YOURS. For now.

Rates:  (Regular Hours – 1:00PM-12MN) P300/2 pax, (Happy Hours – 12MN-8:00AM) P200/2 pax; Additional people P50/pax

Open:  Mon-Sat 1:00PM-8AM, Sun 1:00PM-12MN

-Skyrise II-

Hello Hans Movie House is located at the 2^nd Floor of Skyrise II building in I.T. Park, Lahug, Cebu City right beside J.P. Morgan & Chase, and People Support. For inquiries you can contact them through tel. no. (032) 266-3010 or check them out on Facebook at www.facebook.com/hellohansmoviehouse.

Happy viewing, moviegeekazoids!

-Jake goes into fanboy mode.-

FIN!

P.S. Just so you know, I’m still feeling the after effects of watching Paranormal Activity extremely close to my face and have yet to tell my sister it’s finally okay to move out of my bedroom.

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